Vampires vs. Zombies - A love story

Victoria here!  HI!  

Most people consider me the zombie queen around these parts but that's only because I run the Flint Zombie Walk.  It's an honest mistake.  Honestly, I don't mind the moniker.  My work in the field of zombies spans half a decade and I've seen almost every zombie movie you can think of.  Well, except Zombie vs. Strippers. I do have to draw the line somewhere, nawwhatImean?

PROOF!  Zombie Queen.  Not to be confused with dancing queen.

The people who know me best will tell you that my monster of choice is not zombies.  Don't get me wrong.  I do love zombies.  It's just that zombies are really more of a vehicle for the charity work that I do.  They're more of a means to an end.  More of a popular way to get people involved.  So what is my love?  My monster of choice?  YOU GUYS!  Hear me now and believe me later.

VAMPIRES

I'm a total weirdo nut job for vampires.  But I'm also versed enough to not buy into..well...you know.  If I say the name it will just give it more power.  If you say it three times into a darkened mirror I hear you'll get an eyeful of glitter.

Feel me?

I assert that the vampire is far scarier than the zombie.  But let me tell you why.

 Zombies appear outwardly what they feel inwardly.  There is no mystery to a zombie.  It looks like something you want to run from and yea, please do because that's a good idea, but the thing about zombies is they lack cunning.  Quick witted they are not.  They can't even talk except to ask for more paramedics.  What I'm saying is the intentions of a zombie are never in question.

Feed. That's about it.  I've never even see a zombie try to nap or get distracted by their iPhone.  It is literally all about catching humans and devouring them.  And(if you're doin' it right) they're S L O W.  You can totally outrun those guys.  The issue with zombies is that they multiply so fast that there are lots of them.  I'm not saying it's an easy situation to deal with I'm just saying you know exactly what the problem is.

Vampires, on the other hand, are..well...a totally different creature.  Perhaps as undead as a zombie but with some features that a zombie lacks.

The first important difference is cunning.  A vampire doesn't lose their brains(har har) when they change into a sanguine sucker.  In fact the total opposite happens.  They seems to gain awareness.

The Count is a vampire with a TV show.  AND he teaches kids.  Explain that with your precious science.

The next big difference is that you can't actually tell that a vampire is a vampire.  Hell, sometimes they can't even tell that they're changing into a vampire.

Took this shmuck a couple of days to figure it out.  Poor Charley.

And the other thing?  The biggest thing?  They are sexy!  And they know how to use that appeal to get what they want.  And if you think you wouldn't succumb to a hot vampire that is coming on to you then you're a dirty liar.  Because yes you would!  Not only are they charming but in some cases they actually have magic!  OOOooOOOOooOO MAGIC!

You would say yes to this........

And this.....

And you would want these guys to tag team you.....

And nobody is kicking this guy out of bed for eating crackers.  And by that I mean drinking your blood.

But this?

YEA!  It's scary.  But the threat is clear.  You know what you have to do.  You'll probably still die.  Sorry, but that's the odds.

When any one of those Hotty McHotterson vampires gets you in their sights you may experience a more enjoyable death but it's so much more insidious.  You won't even know what the threat is until it's too late.  They're like that friend you used to have that only wanted to get close to learn all your secrets and stab you in the back...and then take the stake out and drink all of your blood.  They are skilled at reading every emotion, at knowing what you're thinking before you think it and at lulling you in a false sense of security.

Of course there is no real debate here.  Whatever is more scary to you is simply what it is more scary!  I'd love to hear some thoughts so feel free to post below.

xoxo

Victoria NightShade